si male te tondeat, irasceris tonsori
Si distortum digitum haberes, non ad correctorem digiti tui medicum curreres? Certe tunc se habet bene corpus tuum, quando sibi concordant membra tua; tunc diceris sanus, tunc bene vales. Si autem aliquid in tuo corpore dissentiat ab aliis partibus, quaeris qui emendet. ...Certe viliores sunt ceteris membris capilli tui? Quid vilius in corpore tuo capillis tuis? Quid contemptius? Quid abiectius? Et tamen si male te tondeat, irasceris tonsori, quia in capillis tuis non servat aequalitatem... De utilitate ieiunii vi.8.
For the Curious
This is a post from a year ago, which I have pruned of its context because I want to focus on hair, for more on which, see below. Before that, however, here's a little context. This sermon has been dated by Edmund Hill to the Ember days of 411 or to Lent of 412 – a sound argument based on Augustine's use of compelle intrare and its relation to the decrees of the Council of Carthage in 411 regarding the Donatists. Augustine became fond of using compelle intrare (force them to enter) after this council which ordered the forced conversions of members of the Donatist church.
Augustine is speaking to his congregation of something customary (iii.3: ecclesiae consuetudine), not of something individual, and as the sermon goes on, his preoccupation with ecclesial unity becomes apparent. He deals with the question of Manicheism (iv.4-v.5) and mentions non-Christian fasting, but when he raises the fasting of those he calls heretics, his sermon dwells, at length, on the greater importance of charity, without which fasting is pointless and there is no unity in the body of Christ. There is a movement from personal disunity in ourselves, which fasting is supposed to help us deal with, to the need for unity in the church, the body of Christ.
Others noting how we tend to overrate our hair:
Suetonius on Julius Caesar:
[Iulius fuit] circa corporis curam morosior, ut non solum tonderetur diligenter ac raderetur, sed uelleretur etiam, ut quidam exprobrauerunt, caluitii uero deformitatem iniquissime ferret saepe obtrectatorum iocis obnoxiam expertus. ideoque et deficientem capillum reuocare a uertice adsueuerat et ex omnibus decretis sibi a senatu populoque honoribus non aliud aut recepit aut usurpauit libentius quam ius laureae coronae perpetuo gestandae. Vita Divi Iulii 45.2
Seneca
Quid? illos otiosos uocas quibus apud tonsorem multae horae transmittuntur, dum decerpitur si quid proxima nocte succreuit, dum de singulis capillis in consilium itur, dum aut disiecta coma restituitur aut deficiens hinc atque illinc in frontem conpellitur? Quomodo irascuntur, si tonsor paulo neglegentior fuit, tamquam uirum tonderet! Quomodo excandescunt, si quid ex iuba sua decisum est, si quid extra ordinem iacuit, nisi omnia in anulos suos recciderunt! Quis est istorum qui non malit rem publicam suam turbari quam comam? qui non sollicitior sit de capitis sui decore quam de salute? qui non comptior esse malit quam honestior? Hos tu otiosos uocas, inter pectinem speculumque occupatos? De Brevitate Vitae 12.3.
Martial
Mentiris fictos unguento, Phoebe, capillos
Et tegitur pictis sordida calva comis.
Tonsorem capiti non est adhibere necesse:
Radere te melius spongia, Phoebe, potest. Epigrammata 6.57
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